June 24, 2011

Of love , life and Happiness....

Before you read any further , I must warn you this is NOT like any normal post, rather it's a jot down of a few random thoughts in probably the MOST unorganized manner! Thoughts on 3 subjects which confuse me the MOST and might leave you confused too once you're done reading what's on my mind !
As I proceed, I shall write about 3 things and random feelings about each in NO proper order :P I'l link them up in ways in which they get linked up inside my head! (Believe me you WOULDN'T want to get in there !! ) So moving on, the three things are : LOVE , LIFE AND HAPPINESS!
Out of these 3, LIFE is probably the greatest and it goes without saying it has more weightage than the other two.Yet, as large as life is, it is incomplete without love and happiness.Pointless rather, because these are two things that fill life with substance and help us make the distinction between surviving life and living it...Because without love an happiness you can go from one day to another, but you can't feel life the way you do if these two things are absent.
People search far and wide to find love and happiness,self- help books are written to help people find the true meaning of life...what I do not understand is,how can ANYONE dictate or rather promote a meaning of life, when to every human being life stands for something different and NO self book can help them find answers because everyone is looking for different answers in life... Everyone is still learning about life and no matter how old you are, and no author, preacher could have possibly found answers that are applicable to everyone's problems...kinda makes the whole concept of self-help books seem *blah* to me !
People give more importance to the ways and techniques of being happy,they perceive happiness as a problem which can be solved when you apply a fixed formula ! Buying books, attending better living seminars might teach you the technicalities but till you are practical in life about issues you aren't going to be happy.....One such issue that affects happiness the most is LOVE.
The way love works and the way you deal with it can flip your life entirely for good or for worse! Love,according to me should be simple,uncomplicated,pure and self-less.And making it all of these things depends upon us. Yet somehow most of us manage to complicate it and adulterate it with jealousy,selfishness and other such vices. Love is supposed to be a cause of happiness and yet if you analyse any person's life be it a teenager or a mid-aged person you will see more than 50% of his problems revolve around love! The problem is human beings tend to complicate stuff ,when they have something they want more, adding emotions and conditions and labels and tags to a simple emotion can make it far more complicated than it seems. When we receive love in life, we never keep it simple, we concentrate on things revolving around love rather than love itself...we arouse questions , question the source of love, label the relationship , think about it's future and put in terms and conditions that suit the relationship and by doing all this, the essence of love is lost! Trying to make love function as permitted by the "society" makes it lose it's essence too. Two people can NEVER just be in love as friends, then there has to be a relationship, if there's a relationship, there should be boundaries , there should be a future commitment tying not ONLY the people in love but also the people around them in a legal contract! The concept of marriage is still lost to me ! If two people are happy, why push yourself further into just giving it a legal status ! If you are in love, keep it that way, don't complicate it by adding rules,compulsions ,expectations because if you do, you'l experience EVERYTHING else but love! And in the end you'l be unhappy and question yourself about actually being in love in the first place! I HATE how the "society" has put this particular set of pattern of relationships in our head! Before actually falling in love, we have to think about a million things and we can't just never feel ONLY love,simple and uncomplicated ! We function according to this pattern , get into a relationship expect rather than accept, confine people and try to change them according to how we would want them to be and then we want to love them...HOW is it love if you want to change every little thing about the person you claim to be in "love" with??? We tend to avoid actually knowing the person and just make this mental image of how we want the person we are in love to be. You lose out on knowing the person and this is would just be a start to the many problems that would follow because you never actually knew the person well enough to love him/her for what he/she were ! We try to cling to things just because they get familiar and we are too accustomed to them to step out of the cocoon of comfort we create for ourselves ! And the longer you stay in this comfort zone, your nature changes according to the nature of the relationship you're in! You miss out looking at things from your own point of view, you can't rather because when you stay in such a relationship you just get to use one of your eyes, the another one is of your better-half!You can never be happy when you aren't yourself, which is you start being unhappy when such things start creeping up in a relationship .... Never change yourself for someone they say, yet we expect people to change for us! The whole point of falling in love is to find happiness , so don't forget that and try to take it to a point where you stop feeling happy with the person you fell in love with. Don't feel obliged to make your relationship something it's not just because it SHOULD be that way.... For love, ALWAYS make your own rules, because what can make you happy, might not apply to everyone else and vice-versa ...Never be scared to fall in love, EVER !!Be scared to fall out of it ! (:P) The best relationships are simple, which just make you happy without you trying too hard to look for happiness, those relationships portray true love according to me, never lose them by making them something they're not ! They are what they are because they are effortless and are formed by a bond between hearts rather than by compulsion or obligation ! Simplicity is the key to all 3 :) Love is the way you treat it, Happiness if what you make out of love and life a process that happens when you're happily in love, with life itself and everything in it :)


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